December 31, 2003
Recollections of 2003...6
Some time this year, I kinda arrived at a conclusion why we need a partner in life. And I mean, a partner of the opposite sex. Not like the 'conspicuously fishy' relationship I have with Wenn... haha.
Because we all need someone to believe in, when we don't believe in ourselves and vice versa. Someone to support us when we want to take a rest in our journey, vice versa. Someone to laugh with too. And, erm, in my case, maybe bitch with too. haha...
(Darn, Wenn seems to do the above mentioned job excessively well already. Really, I've less and less reasons to keep looking. haha)
But, this year has taught me... that if you don't close the doors on yourself, and take hold of every chance that comes by, you'd probably enjoy yourself much more in the dating scene. And, as I posted in the Hotspots Forum,
it's easier to disembark on a chance/plan gone astray than to have to live with the knowledge that you missed out on a chance.
Try to bear that in mind, my friends. And, stay positive.
With that, HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 19:46
Recollections of 2003...5
It's actually been an amazing year in terms of friendships, old and new. The new ones I've more or less covered in my earlier posting.
In 4 hours time, I will be sending Juan off at the AP. Really, it's no big deal. One semester passes by quick enough than you can say, 'I miss you', especially when you are kept busy. Almost 2 years back, we sent Anna off at the AP too, to Paris.
But, somehow, this time, it feels a bit more sad, a bit more of the sense of loss. Wenn asked if we also felt this way 2 years back. I said, 'I guess so, but maybe not to this extent.'
Why? Well, because over the 2 years, especially the last one, many things have happened and changed the dynamics of friendships, even those among friends as close as us. We quarreled, we had disagreements, we got upset with one another. We made up in due time, of course. But, I guess, some things happened that changed the elements of a friendship. Natural, I guess. Due to personal differences, understanding is almost a feat. A little bit more of tolerance because of a little less of understanding. Still, it works.
Besides, we all grow up. Growing up means changing. And growing up means the tendency to have someone significant in your life, otherwise aka boyfriend. And truth be said, your boyfriend's best friend and best rival is the same person - your best friend. Especially if your time management isn't exactly fantastic.
A blooming friendship is the result of two parties' effort and a real friend is a gem of a gift. Don't take your gifts for granted.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 19:29
Recollections of 2003...4
Before this year, I forgot the last time I blushed by virtue of the presense of a guy (and some of his very kind compliments and unexpected questions). He's one of the 'first' in this year. Someone from a very different background as I come from, someone who came by my life as a very refreshing character. A musician, he likes to think he is. Well, my own experience is that he can play the guitar really well. And he picked up Salsa dance really fast. If not for the fact that he's attached now, maybe we could go take up salsa dance class together. But, anyway, he's been a really interesting person to know. MIA now, nevertheless, he's definitely on my list of reasons why I'm thankful for the past 364 days.
Another thing is that he introduced me to this really really neat cafe - Fat Frog Cafe - where Wenn and I frequent nowadays to chill out on Sat nights, immersed in beautiful vocals and delightful guitar. Definitely a lovely alternative to Sat night clubbing (which I still do, but more on Ladies' Night now). Surprisingly, it was one of the things I missed most when I was away in K.L recently.
Then, there's my first time organising (and some might say, leading) a high-tea gathering for close to 70 persons, at a rather neat place - Meritus Mandarin Hotel. There're a couple of things I've deduced from this event. That, guests enjoy the attention they get for being really late in arriving; some young people can be even more boring than 'uncles' and 'aunties'; no matter how well you think you co-ordinated something, there will be people to screw it up for you; it's important to know how to socialise and be versatile in whichever status you are and in any circumstance open to you; it's wishful thinking for the organisers to get the lucky draw gift that they desire unless they 'kelong'; my speech was better delivered in Mandarin than in English (haha). Oh! And that the Banquet manager of M.M Hotel is quite a cute guy, nice voice too. haha.. opps!!!
It was good training for someone as inexperienced as me. For that, I am thankful.
For the same event, I'm thankful twice. The 2nd time 'cos it brought a new friend into my circle. For a while there, I was thinking less and less of Singaporean men. Negative, whining/MCP, think too highly of themselves, single-tracked mind, pessimistic... Argh! Then, along came this guy. Soft-spoken, polite and humble. I'm suitably impressed, to be honest. It's that easy to start a friendship. But, gonna take more effort to build a friendship. But, I'm quite confident this one will grow. If not for more elaborate reasons, it's for the simple reasons that many centuries ago, we belonged to the same family (hee) and Enelya (my elvish name) simple adores Aragorn! Haha...
My first job after graduation was tele-interviewing at Gartner. It was a temp assignment. It was a marvellous 2 months. The job and the quota could be quite stressful but tell you, my colleagues definitely more than made up for it. 'Uncle' Snow, Annie, Jeri, Jacq, Val, LWK, Raymond, Alicia, all of them made the 2 months a really enriching time. And, as a matter of fact, I'm going to meet them for some kite-flying later, after work. heh...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 09:41
December 30, 2003
I juz had lunch - ginger chicken with rice - and dessert - gingko nuts with barley. I'm very, very full and I'm sure I'm gonna feel really really sleepy as the oxygen in my brain flows down south to digest my food in awhile.
Anyway, Mel and Joyce were commenting on how 2003 has been an awful year (with the latest depressing news being Anita Mui's death). I gotta agree it's been a really eventful year for the whole world.
Recollections of 2003...3
A war that many and increasing more people feel should never have been started. A war whose end has not been able to justify the reasons for its launch. A war which is the least of the evil that is of all wars. A war which freed some but further imprisoned others.
I guess, freedom is more about freeing the thoughts than freeing the person. Hegemony is ugly. But hegemony also means the ability to buy over people, to make them believe that 'Big Brother must be right'. I don't know if I've been bought over yet. Probably still loitering in the grey area, suffering from frequent bouts of ambivalence. But, I do buy the belief that peace can only come when people of all races and religions can come to terms with differences and respect one another. What you cannot understand, the least you can do is to respect. Right?
Because, at the end of the day, we all have an equal chance of dying from SARS. Ya, SARS, that syndrome which actually shed a bit of hope for me in the most despairing of times. The daily TVnews was seriously depressing even when the newscasters try to inject a bit of hope with their optimism and not-quite-solemn suits. However, it was encouraging, albeit in a rather unorthodox way, to learn that experts all over the world have 'united' in the research for and fight against SARS. It brings to mind something I read before: 'Only in death are we united.' I say, well, at least that's one.
Anita Mui, Leslie Cheung. You know, it's a different thing when celebs pass away. The social impact is always greater. Celebs are very often the models or the mirror images of how we would like to see ourselves. They are capable of setting a new culture, a new trend, a revolution. And they can't die, at least, not when we least expect them to. But, yet, they can and they do. Because they have to lead their own lives. A life that is answerable to more than themselves. It's a tough life. Grieve for them. Not just the R.I.P ones; the ones still striving to make it in the starry starry world too.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:33
I wonder if there's a service or a information page (done up by some observant and meticulous persons, no doubt) on the various amenities in and around Raffles Place. We all know it's the core business hub of Singapore and there're lotsa eateries all around, as well as many professional apparel boutiques.
However, into the 2nd week of my working here, i truly feel the need to know where every bank, every currency changer, every remittance service, every keymaker, every cobbler, every SingPost (and the list goes on and on) is. Oh yes, and where to get a hot water dispenser at the snap of my boss's finger.
Yeah, I'd admit that I'm really a lousy PA. haha. But, hey, I've never been one before and this is a whole new environment, natural and man-made, to me. So, cut me some slack oki. I'm doing my best though. I went online to search for maps of this hub and I told myself I'm gonna go comb through this area and mark down where all the 'every's are. Yap. That's what I'd be doing on NYE.
And you, my friend, if you happen to have any info on this, gimme a holla oki. I'd appreciate it. =)
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 12:10
December 27, 2003
Recollections of 2003...2
I've learnt more in my Honours year than I have from the earlier 3 years in the University. Getting into Hons prog came as a surprise to me and I still remain very thankful for having the opportunity to be part of the class.
Even though I shall always remember the despondent state I was in when one day, A/P Schmidt called me into office and told me the draft of 3 chapters I handed in were too 'problematic'. In all my years of schooling, that was the first time my morale plunged to rock bottom. I remember Paul was so very encouraging in the Hons room, giving me suggestions on how to re-do it. I remember meeting up with Eugene after that to go play pool simply cos I needed distractions. I remember what he said about not being too disappointed cos whatever happens, I have a lot of people who cares about me and will support me. I remember nodding my head, telling him I will not be disheartened cos I know there are many who are behind me. =) Thank you, Eugene, if you are reading this.
My thesis was around 16000 words - the lengthiest piece I ever wrote. Admittedly, I am more pleased with the acknowledgement page than I am with the thesis proper. hehe. But, above all, I delight from having learnt so much from my profs, esp Prof Chua, in the one year, and having shared the year with a group of classmates who grew to be friends.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 16:15
As the year 2003 draws to a close, I am very inclined to do now what I usually leave until NYE. Reason being, this NYE, I see myself waving goodbye, choking with tears but trying not to get too emotional, to Juan at AP terminal 2. It's probably a good thing to start doing it now too, cos, as Anna will invariably agree, I am prone to being a real pain in the a** on NYE. I'd start getting all philosophical and moody and withdrawn. haha... Moreover, this year has been one of many ends and beginnings, many growing up and a few first times. An eventful year indeed.
Be warned it's a series. And those of you who already think I'm really TOO loh-soh for my age can stop reading here - Go watch some TV or snatch some forty winks. Others, proceed with patience. =)
Recollections of 2003...1
I learnt of a kind of pain that is probably one of the most difficult to leave behind. The pain of having your feelings neglected by people who matter to you. I like to think that most of us go about our lives, being thoughtful of others' feelings, especially the feelings of people who matter to us. But, it may not be reasonable to expect from others what you expect from yourself.
I guess, we all forget after a while. Cos mankind is a forgetful kind. If we don't make the effort to remember, it's certain that we will forget given some time. But, forgiveness is quite a different story. Forgive is a choice, forget is a natural process.
Moving on doesn't have to mean I forget, it means I have forgiven. When you forgive, you leave behind the pain that has been holding back. And when you leave behind the pain, you walk out of the shadow, with more life experiences to add to the collage of life.
But, as with everything else, do this at your own pace. People can tell you you should move on, but there's always a right time for everything. Speeding up the process by force will only mean you have an incomplete immersion course. Just be aware of how long you are taking. Allow, not indulge.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:30
Oh darn.
You see, tis afternoon, I was actually on to a 'massive project' for my blog. I was only at the first paragraph before one of my bosses walked in and said, 'So! You girls have been idling?' (ya, of course, nothing to do mah... hee) So, I had no choice but to try to save my blog or whatever i wrote in a draft, hoping to resume when i get home.
Alas, somehow, I could not retrieve it. So, I guess, gotta write all over again. But since I'm really tired now, I'd leave it to tomorrow.hee.. cheers, pple... till tomorrow!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 03:37
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 03:37
December 24, 2003
Ho, before I go hit the sheets...
Hey, MA (aka Kyn), Happy 24th!!! Ho Ho Ho! remember our date on friday oki! Wenn said we go eat zi cha at Tg pagar. ^_^
N today is the start of 364 days more of brilliance! Keep the ~cool~, stay positive!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:52
Foremost, Merriest of Christmas to all of ya sweeties! I think I would be able to pop in and write something here before we see the last of 2003. So, I would leave 'Happiest of New Year' to the next time.
Work's been pretty good, thus far. Basically, we don't do a lot in the mornings. heh. We would each take a set of newspaper, either Streats or Today (Today's my personal preference) from the MRT station and then wait for one another at the lobby before going up to office together. Mornings have mostly been answering some phonecalls, waiting for the despatch to come and give us some stuff to sort out and file and reading newspaper. Oh! n deciding when and where to have lunch. heh...
Things get a bit busier when the bosses come in much later in the afternoon. Plus, the contractor, the security people, the delivery people for the various equipment will all come. So, we will go from one training session to another. Hey, you people, don't be so puzzled what's there to learn about using copiers. You think you used them all during your university days, trying to zap the readings without infringing on copyright law. Truth is, there are so many functions and so many nitty-gritty details to take note of when using the copier. hehe.. Anyway, that's at the minimum, something for us to do in the office.
Okay, the truth is, I'm really really beat tonight. 'Cos I barely slept yesterday due to a rather serious case of indigestion. Hate it, tho muz say it happens to me considerably often. So, I got like, 2 hours of sleep yesterday and I need to koon now.
I'd be back. Meanwhile, make merry, stay joyous and dun drink and drive.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:25
December 21, 2003
I've been to my new office. For those of you who have not been updated by me personally or those slightly more amnesia-prone ones, my new office's at OUB centre.
It's quite neat. I sit outside my direct boss's office, opposite a fellow PA, inside a segregated compartment of the whole office space. My boss's office has a little sofa set and large windows. And from the level where I work, the view out there is quite splendid. Boat Quay, Swissotel Stamford, Singapore River, Esplanade, all the bridges around the area (can't really name those bridges eh..). But as I told some friends of mine, rarity is beautiful. Too much of splendour can make one forget to appreciate the very beauty of it.
I commence work on Monday, which is tomorrow. A new phase, new stage, new beginnings. Just few days before Christmas. I think that's lovely.
In more ways than one, I've rested enough, had enough of free(d) days, partied quite ('quite' cos there's never enough of partying in life) enough, and definitely read more novels than I ever had in a year. The past 2 weeks or so had made so restless that I realised an urgent need to start focusing my energy and mind to something. On the other hand, it's made me so lethargic that I realised I better snap out of my too-relaxed lifestyle, lest I lose my zeal for life.
So, yes, I'm mentally prepared to embark on this new stage of my life now. No complaints. = ) N of course not forgetting the cruel fact that my funds are really evaporating, kudos to things like the LOTR Books Box set (ho ho ho, i'm my best Santa), some late night la-kopi sessions, Jap food, a few new working apparel, new stock of facial maintenance regime... Argh!!!
But physically, I may have some problem waking up by 7.30am every morning, which means I've to hit the sheets by 12am every night, just so I've enough (beauty) sleep. heh...
But okay... that's all for now. Cos there's another work that's commencing in 45 minutes time. It's really tough work, this one is. To handle 2 little monkeys who I sometimes refer to as my tutees. Arghhhh... My patience with them not only amazes their mother, it amazes myself too! *clapsss.. hehe
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:18
December 18, 2003
I really really wanted to and need to sleep soon. But just suddenly remembered this 3 lines I caught from the HK Serial I am 'chasing after' every weekday.
'Romance is like a train. If you are late, you will be left out.'
'You can always go on the next train.'
'Yes, but the next one will take you to a different destination.'
Again, some questions for y'all:
1. When you missed a train, is it better to wait for the next one that will take you to where you want but may be a fruitless wait since it has already left and may not return ever, OR is it better to just hop onto the next train that comes, without knowing where it will take you?
2. If you think you are on the right train to the right destination, but the train is faulty and stops every few hours, will you get off and try your luck with the next train or just bear with it?
3. Would you rather hop onto the train that will take you to a desired destination but has to bypass vicious tunnels and dangerous hilltops (thus maybe ending your journey halfway) or would you hop onto the train that is just safe but will end up at a place you have no real wish of going?
4. Are you late for a train? Or, are you on the wrong train but not daring to jump out? Or, you've never even reached the train station yet?
Think about it, folks. And share your thoughts with me. *wink... n gd nite.. yawnzzzz
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 02:55
Today's been an unexpectedly lovely day. Of course I try to see every other day as beeyouteaful too. But, today has been a really interesting one.
It should be, since the day's events began with a trip to the Exhibition 'Body Worlds' at Expo. At 18 bucks entrance fees, it had better be a real eye-opener. It was. I was most fascinated with the ligament display, the nervous system display and the arteries display. It's just so amazing how they manage to plasticinate the bodies and you can see all those ligaments, nerves and arteries that run throughout your body. I gotta keep reminding myself that these are real bodies, cos they all looked so unbelievable.
However, the display that disturbed me the most is the series on pregnancy. They've the embryos as they grow in weeks, the foetus in months, as well as the deformed babies. Do you know that some deformities are as common as 1 in every 1000 births? Like the poor baby I saw that grew to its full term except the top of the skull didn't grow completely. And it's a 100% fatal deformity. I then realised how much more precious a life is than I first imagined. How much more fortunate it is to have given birth to a healthy baby than I thought. After seeing the exhibition, I know how fragile our bodies are. And I also amaze at how all the organs and body functions know how to do what they do and know where to position themselves so neatly. Isn't it amazing how from a fertilised egg (which is really really small and even a 3 month old embryo is really really small) we grow to be 6 feet tall and with an awareness of our body? Life is simply amazing, yet fragile. So, my friends, all of you, do please take care of yourselves and love yourselves a lot.
I went to have a good dinner at Fullmoon Beach Bar n Grill, East Coast Park, with Liwei after that (Ya, I was at the exhibition with him and was trying to impose on him the way his lungs are beginning to look like with all the tar n nicotine he takes in everyday from the Salem Mild, or whatever... haha..). And it's been some time since I went to the beach. It was lovely, just strolling and talking with my lao ge. =)
I came home, came online. And what surprise was there for me right in my friendster! A testimonial from Eugene! Just as I was lamenting recently about how I miss his wonderful and engaging company, he popped by and dropped me a testimonial (which I definitely had to approve cos it's just soooo sweet.. haha)! Okay, there, Knight, I shall pardon your MIA on this account, on top of the fact that your lovely queen is back for holidays (hi Joann!). hee
By the way, I was informed that I would start work at the new office on the coming Monday. The renovations are complete and the whole management team is moving in on Monday. It means I've tomorrow, Friday, Saturday and Sunday to play hard, party hard, rest well before embarking on my new chapter. Ya, I was excited. But not as excited as I am now.
Meisen just shared with me her experience of watching the sneaks of The Return of The King today. I quote her, 'it's SO F***ING GOOD'! haha... As I listen to her hype up the show, I just couldn't help smiling from ear to ear and I really feel like crying. I so so so so want to watch it! But, I am so so so so scared of the great sense of loss I'm sure will consume me after finishing the trilogy! Argh...
It's a wonderful life, people! Cest la Vie~!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:18
December 16, 2003
One of my dearest friends is leaving for Penn State, USA on the eve of the New Year. Juan will be spending her countdown to 2004 on a world class airline, fondly referred to as 'SQ' by the locals. The SIA girls would probably do all they can to make the flight a very pleasant and memorable one for their pax.
But, it is already going to be a very memorable one for all of us. While our dearest Juan will be counting down up in the air, we will be counting down with her at the world class airport that supports the world class airlines. To be specific, terminal 2 of that airport.
Isn't life exactly like this? A series of chance encounters, meetings, departures and gatherings.
To be honest, I'm already beginning to miss her now.
Things happened, things that changed persons, relationships, and make them never to be the same again. That's why I am always thankful how some things never change.
Just like...the way my Momma turned up her nose in great distaste when I ever just bring my little bolster (my security blanket since I was 12 year old) anywhere near her nostrils. haha...
Frankly, I'm in such a sentimental mood tonight that I can't seem to pen what I have to say even though I do have a lot to say, tonight.
So, I guess... cheers, and have a good night, lovely people, you.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:45
December 15, 2003
Hey, people, just some questions that I need some opinions on. Those of you who do read my random ranting and raving and random acts of thought-expression here (yes, you, thank you very much, for just bookmarking this page), feel free to share your opinions on the following:
1. Can friends decide to stop becoming friends? How many times have we found ourselves obliged to 'hang out' with some people who considered ourselves friends when we really just lack the motivation to make the effort?
2. How much effort do we need to maintain a friendship? Is the effort required proportionate to the years we gain in age?
3. In times when new friends come and old friends leave, where do we draw the line between nostalgia and social passivity (i.e. anti-social)?
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 02:03
Hi guyz. I'm back from my short trip to K.L with my Momma.
Some people hate going to Malaysia by coach. I'm not one of those. I won't say I like it. But, it's a pretty serene experience, especially by night. I remember I used to go on short family trips at least once yearly to Malaysia. It used to be either Genting or Haatyai. So, you can imagine how I have been trained to 'smooth out' riding on coach for 6 hours and more. But, I do enjoy these long hours on the potentially uncomfortable seats. It could be because I'm not a very fidgety person. My favourite position is to sit cross-legged, arms folded and just gaze out at the road or at the sky above.
Nights are always seductive. Especially when there is practically nothing you can do to combat its silence, mystic, and tranquility. During all the long journey back on the coach, I was totally seduced by the night and how the bus seemed to be going down a long, straight and never ending road. Everything just felt so right, so tranquil and yet so dangerous, so peaceful and yet so vindictive. I guess, it's this kind of irony in life, together with the certainty of how night intervals with day that makes me embrace life itself.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:51
December 11, 2003
Ho Ho Ho... X'mas is just round the corner yeah. And my dear friend, Kyn, has a very special request from me. And hence, I am here, at 4.25 in the morning, 3 hours before I have to leave for Kuala Lumpur. And where is Kyn? She's fallen asleep, finally, in my bedroom. So, Kyn, here you go! A very special edition of my blog just for you (and how you were really the star today at Carnegies)!
We, meaning Apple, Kyn, Wenn and myself, went Ladies Night at Carnegies today. The choice of venue was mine cos I like the (free) champagne and their music (and that's all I ask for to have a good party night).
Kyn looked really cool and stylo today, what with the chic hat. But 'stylo' must be an understatement for what was to follow after 5, or was it 6, glasses of champagne.
She was totally high~~~ like the sky's so high that kinda high~! And the most amusing thing was that she could still dance quite well and stylo-ly even when she's really quite un-sober. So, we didn't really care cos if a person can be so stylo even when she's drunk, maybe it's not a cause for concern.
Next thing we know, we had to almost drag her outta the place. Not without some weird stares from the Ang Mohs.
Yesh, my dear, I don't know if you know anything from this point onwards, but you were really quite drunk. You were walking round and round where we were seated outside. Look, we tried to keep you seated. But, you really didn't like to be. So, you kept walking round us. And what did we do then? We let you. And a few times, you fell and were basically lying in the middle of the walk path. And what did we do then? We let you, still. haha... Really, you were quite a sight. But what did we do? We let you be. haha
There were some nice caucasians who came by and wanted to help you up. But what did we do? Apple said, 'No, she's fine. You guyz go ahead. It's okay'. I said, 'ya, it's fine. We just let her be.' Wendy, too, said, 'it's okay.' Aren't we the greatest of your friends? haha...
But in the end, wenn and I really didn't quite think you like waking up to finding yourself in the mid of the pathway, being something like an exhibit that the ang mohs show interest at. So, we got you back onto the chair. But you didn't like being seated, for some unknown reasons. So you had to walk round and round again. Until Apple decided to give you what she thought was THE antidote (you know what eh... hee). But alas, it was wishful thinking.
Basically, after that, we tried to get you onto the cab. God bless the taxi uncle who didn't like drive off upon seeing the four of us trying to hail his cab down. Did you know you were in the cab when you were? I suppose so. Else how would you manage to tell Wenn you needed to sit straight? And yesh, Apple will gladly 'inform' you that Wenn practically pushed your head over to her side and that she declared she will never get drunk in Wenn's presense. But, of course, getting Apple drunk was the least of our worry then.
And then, somehow, we reached my house. It's really funny how you still tried very hard to maintain a cool and sober image when it's kinda obvious that I brought home a drunk.
In my bedroom, Kyn began scaring the wits outta Wenn and myself. First, you asked where I am and started pointing towards my fan. Somehow, you see the similarity between my fan and me, I guess. And that's when you made this special request. Went something like, 'Jancy, where are you? Jancy, you gotta write all this down man, in your blog. How this F***ing kynthia got drunk tonight.. F*** man...' And how can I reject such sincere request? haha
Apple, she went into a state of euphoria while at my house. It was a sharp sharp contrast to her depression outside Carnegies. She started laughing a lot. Child like laughter. Can you imagine how Wenn and I just looked at each other, mix of shock and amazement in our eyes, and then Kyn sorta 'diagnosed' herself as suffering from alcohol poisoning. We tried to give her some sugar loaded beverage (like, Coke plus honey plus iced water.. Ugh! haha.. that's Wenn's concoction). Surprise, surprise! She can actually tell what she's being fed!
Now, I didn't know there is such thing called alcohol poisoning until today. So, it must be really quite an eye-oepner for me. But, it was getting scary. Cos Kyn started bursting out into cackles! And she refused to just lie down on the mattress that we prepared for her. She kept fidgeting and laughing.
Thank God for technology and information at a click away. My net search for alcohol poisoning put her in the clear for calling 995.
Erm, Kyn, the smelly thing you said we fed you was actually lemon pieces. hee... Cos my Mum suggested trying that, you see. And we think... Why not? haha... But you didn't make it easy for Wenn to pop that into your mouth. She only managed when you started opening your mouth big to laugh.
It has been a night of revelations. We never knew a drunk can get so high and so depressed and euphoric within a span of an hour. You're the star, baby!
And you were absolutely vain throughout! Finally, I found myself a match. haha...
Next time you've problems or some sorrow, remember drowning sorrows in alcohol will demand a high price to pay. Talk to us over some good coffee (and tea) would be a wiser option. *wink
Now that you are sound asleep in my bedroom and Wenn's watching over you, and I'm here typing... suddenly thought of a part of a song that will be apt for you and your fear (and regret) of tarnishing your image just now.
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Really, but in the end, it doesn't matter. Even though we will remember tonight well and occasionally will remind you of how amazing you were. Even though Apple is gonna 'suan' you about this till you're 84 years old. Even though Wenn said she's gonna tell Amy tomorrow. Even though I have just made known to the whole world how you were the star of tonight. Even though, even though. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
oh! lastly, the one about your fellow NTU student bumping into you when you were in a sorry state was crap. No one you know bumped into you, and no one you don't know dared bump into you just now. haha...
Stay cool, man! and... MERRIEST OF X'MAS! Ho Ho Ho!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 05:12
December 10, 2003
Love & Dating...3
The Sunday that just passed, I attended a wedding dinner with my family. The groom is the son of my mother's cousin, which still makes him my cousin but a further one in terms of blood relations.
After setting up my information radar system, I found out that the groom's 28 year old, his wife's 25, and they just ROMed a year ago.
I also met the wife of my mother's another cousin, which makes her my 'biao3 jiu4 ma1'. My biao jiu ma is 33 this year. She and her husband have 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls. The eldest daughter is around 8 or 9 years old (already). My biao jiu ma is slim and has good reasons for others to guess her age at late twenties, instead of approaching mid thirties.
I guess, the more youth you have, the easier everything is to 'recover' and 'maintain'.
But alas, love and dating will more often come when the time is not right and not come when the time is right.
Workings of the world...1
The dinner was held at Shangri-La Hotel. Nice hotel. Food was below par though. But the service arguably makes up for it.
As usual, towards the end of the dinner, there's always the noodles before the dessert. And as usual, most people are already either too full or too restless to want to eat anymore starchy stuff. I saw the banquet servers pour away the untouched portion of the noodles after collecting from the tables. Some of these servers are from Myanmar, and other poorer countries. The captain told us that they are actually foreign students in Singapore. So, I think they work at banquets to earn a bit of allowance.
Imagine how many starving children that untouched portion of noodles can feed.
That's it. That's capitalism for you. The poor gets poorer, the rich gets richer. The worst are the ones caught in between. For they are not rich enough to make hefty contributions to the poor but are not poor enough to know what's contentment.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 18:01
December 06, 2003
From the papers...1
Yesterday, there was a report on a man charged with cannibalism in Germany. It was reported that he sought his target from the internet by placing advertisement for anyone who is willing to be eaten. He received more replies than I thought. And the '(un)lucky' one was then selected and had his wish granted. That is, to be eaten alive.
The 'victim' even made arrangements on how he wanted to die so that his flesh could be consumed by, well, the cannibal (who, if you must know, sliced 30kg of his flesh and kept them in the freezer to eat over a period of time).
I was grossed out. Ugh! If you know of this Body World exhibition that is being held at Singapore Expo now till early next year, it would be quite logical to link the two events up somehow. Like what Desmond did. Ugh! I was totally grossed out.
But hey, the charge is, of course, cannibalistic act. But the defense is what I think is really what makes this case interesting. Defense: he was just helping a fellow human being fulfill his wish - to be eaten.
Now, as I was informed by the papers yesterday, Germany doesn't have law against cannibalism. So, the trial that will follow will really be open for the battle of wits between the prosecutors and the defense counsel.
Exciting?
Now, my thoughts on this is 'Well, what's wrong with helping someone fulfil his wish?' Yes, it's a bizarre wish, a death wish. But, still, a wish. Hence, perhaps, the 'victim' was not a victim after all. If that's what he desired to be done (to him), and he got his wish, shouldn't us all be happy for him? After all, how many wishes DO get fulfilled these days? Ya? And if you look at it from another point of view, the cannibal had the means and self-motivation to make another person's deathwish come true. Look, not many of us actually would get round to aiding another person in his wish even though the fulfilling of another's wish will also mean the fulfilling of our own.
Before you are double grossed out by how I seem to lack moral values and are potentially cannibalistic, lemme assure you that I'm still grossed out. Mind you, I do not favour acts of cannibalism. No, I don't.
But, look at the defense that's been put up. It's a good argument, don't you think? Really, what's wrong with helping someone fulfill his wish? Just cos his wish is an act not condonable by the society at large does not make it any less a wish. Besides, well, he found someone who is willing to do it for him and, here's the crux, knowing very well what he'd gotten himself into.
There's a chinese saying, Jiang1 tai4 gong1 diao4 yu2, for which the lower verse will be yi4 ge4 yuan4 da3 yi4 ge4 yuan4 ai2. Meaning, well, it takes (took) two hands to clap. In this case, both voluntary and conscious decisions to clap.
I'm totally grossed out by the act, that's for sure. But I'm for the acquittal of this man.
Differing opinions, anyone? Email me. *wink
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:42
December 04, 2003
Was on phone chatting with Anna yesterday night. We started to have a rather brief discussion. Actually, it was she started relating briefly to me, her discussion with her sister. And I'm forming my opinion now. *wink
Love & dating...2
"Actually, what are we looking for in a boyfriend?" That's the question to start all questions.
A rather smart but really vague answer would be 'someone who really love us'. Ya, period. Of course, then, if the audience is quick and sharp, the next question would have to be "what do you mean by 'love'?" Then, many other million-dollar questions will soon follow.
But suppose a respondent is to give the initial question some serious thought and form some serious opinion, things will then get interesting on their own.
Most women, of my age and time, are probably coming to terms that fairy tales are too much of an expectation from reality. Some, sadly, have progressed further, to cease to believe in love and romance. So, then, what are we really looking for in a partner?
Good companionship, preferably in the form of engaging conversation and shared ideas of life. 'Cos one day when we are old and wrinkled, thoughts and communication will hold the key to making our 'Golden years'.
Reliability and trust. 'Cos no matter how much control we sought to have over our lives, and how much confidence we carry with ourselves everyday, there will be times when you need or want to count on someone else. We all need someone else to believe in (in my opinion, especially if you are not a devout of any religious faith). A partner has to be someone we can trust our emotions with, our thoughts with, our nonsense with. I always remember a golden rule from an email that Christin sent me long ago. That you only marry someone with whom you can communicate how you feel without feeling the need to hold back. That's about how much you can rely on the person to listen and trust that you won't feel like a burden to him.
Respect. 'Cos it is one thing that is seriously lacking in interpersonal relationships these days. When technology aids individualism, when individualism is all the hype, when shared culture is losing its hold on people (look at what's happening to my Cai clan thingy... sigh), when reality gameshows like 'Survivors' and 'Amazing Race' are so popular, it's actually easier to expect respect from others than to give respect to others. We are so different in so many ways, we(I) no longer hope that our partner will understand us in all ways (it's true, at least for my case. hee). But, the least, the least is to respect us and the ways that we are different from you. Like, you know, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus thingy.
And well, given that the above qualities are not too much to ask for, I guess, they pretty much sum up what we usually mean by 'love'. hehe... OR juz my opinion on that initial question.
"What about looks and the physical attributes? What about sex?"
Duh. Hey, people, it's a lovely day today for lovely dreamy romantic thoughts. Dream of the impossible oki! haha...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:34